Just Like A Dream
by mishdapperson
Summary: This is a trip into Kurt Hummel's mind, the summer of the year he met Blaine. What his voice over on Glee might be like. Mostly narrative, but not completely. "Two weeks ago, I thought there was no way I'd ever find someone like Blaine. And there he was."


Have you ever woken up in the morning, and for a few seconds, before your brain gathers itself and remembers what's real and what's a dream, you forget what's going on in your life?

You feel like you really _were_ just battling a homicidal maniac with your best friend, or you really _were_ just hanging out with your favorite celebrity, or you really _were _just growing tentacles and the doctors had no idea how to cure you?

Or, for some reason, you forget what day it is and instead, you think it's months and months ago?

Kurt Hummel is waking up, and his brain is still stuck on the remnants of a very nostalgic dream. He sees Finn walking down the hall, and he can feel himself swooning; feel the ache in his heart, the longing. As he comes to, all he can feel is that pain. His head is filled with those awful feelings: Things like_ why does this hurt so much? I don't want to go to school. I don't want to see them together. I don't want to go through another day of slushies and gay jokes. Why can't he just want me back?_

Kurt's eyes open to a dark room, all but the artificial glow from his bedside lamp, which causes him to squint again. The first thing he notices- other than the fact he fell asleep in his jeans- is that there's a body curled to his side.

He looks down and sees dark, curly hair, attached to a warm face pressed against his chest. He can feel the warmth through his shirt.

It's Blaine.

Blaine Anderson, the boy at the prep school. The singer. Blaine Anderson, his new friend, who is openly gay just like him. Blaine Anderson who has a smile that lights up the room, and words that make Kurt believe he has the strength to do anything.

Blaine Anderson, his boyfriend.

It's a staggering feeling. A second ago, he remembers longing over Finn- who is now his brother, he remembers instantly, and his heart twists with the strangeness of it all. It was just a dream, but he can remember it so clearly. Like it was yesterday. Now, though, he can hear Blaine breathing evenly against him. He can smell his hair. He can see the fingers that are curled in his shirt at his side. He can feel his warm body against his own, and if he moves his arm just a bit further, he can curl his hand around Blaine's hip. He does so, and squeezes very softly, his pinky brushing hot skin where his t-shirt is riding up.

This is his boyfriend. He, Kurt Hummel, has a boyfriend. And they fell asleep together, there in Kurt's bed.

What a strange thing to dream, he thinks to himself. The haze of sleep has left him now, but the effects of his subconscious's travels haven't. It's been so long since he's thought back to his sophomore year, but he remembers it so clearly now. How much he had ached for Finn. How miserable he was. How certain he was that he would be alone until his mid-20's, at the earliest.

Blaine stirs above him. A leg drapes over one of his own, bending and almost hooking, like he's trying to climb the body he's clinging to.

Kurt smiles.

His boyfriend is curled up to him, sleeping like a baby.

Kurt remembers when he spent each day dreaming about something like this.

Now, he dreams only of Blaine, and its a much different feeling.

They aren't fantasies laced with heartache and yearning; they're daydreams of the afternoons and weekends, when he'll get to be with him again. And he'll get just everything he's fantasizing about. Blaine will hold his hand, and he'll kiss him, and he'll smile at him and tell him he's adorable, gorgeous. He'll laugh at his jokes, and nuzzle his cheek with his nose. He'll put his arm around him when they're alone, and cuddle up to him while they sit together. He'll tell Kurt he loves him, cup his face with his hand, gaze into his eyes, and kiss him soft and slow. Just like in the movies.

Just like in his dreams.

It's like magic.

Blaine wants to spend time with Kurt. All the time. He answers every text, every phone call. He wants to touch him, hold him, and kiss him. If Kurt smiles at him, he always smiles back, sometimes twice as big. Blaine holds his hand, and plays with his fingers. Blaine sings to him all the time- in public, even. He genuinely cares about how Kurt feels, always asking questions and listening intently to everything Kurt says, and when he's sad or upset, he does not rest until he's done something to cheer him in some way. He likes his outfits; not only admires them but thinks they're flattering, handsome, and- as impossible as Kurt thought this was- sexy. Blaine likes that Kurt is different. He likes that he stands up to people. He likes that he's ambitious. He likes his voice, even if it sounds like a girl's. He wants to kiss him all the time (Blaine tells him so). Out of all the other people in the world that this gorgeous, wonderful young man could be spending time with, all the other people that _want_his time... Blaine picks him. Him, Kurt.

Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. His boyfriend. His angel. His dream come true, _Blaine_.

He can't say it enough.

All the years he'd spent thinking he was going to be alone... it's such an odd feeling to remember them. Kurt always thought he had to chase someone down and _convince_ them to love him. That's what he had been doing with Finn, really. He knew it would never happen, but God, it just felt so good to feel like there might be a _chance_. He'd just been hoping and hoping, maybe some miracle would grace him and Finn might want him back, some day. Maybe he'd start to want him, if he was a good enough friend, and made him happy enough, Finn would want him and Kurt would finally know what it feels like to be desired. That's really all it was, when he thinks back on it, now. All he wanted was someone to want him back. It felt so good to have something to hope for. A ridiculous fantasy that he could hope for and try to make true was so much better than accepting the fact that there was no one for him, not even a chance.

He thought there would never be a chance.

Kurt hears the girls talk. Quinn? All she wants is to be envied, wanted, begged for. Rachel, she doesn't show it as much as Quinn does, and her singing comes before everything else, but she longed for someone to love her, too. Lucky for her, she found that someone, so it wasn't quite as difficult for her, Kurt figures. Mercedes- tough as she is- even she's become lonely and it breaks Kurt's heart, truly, because there's no reason she should be.

Sure, Kurt had had a lot of problems his junior year. The harassment, the struggle with acceptance, the loneliness. The worst part, though, although he never really said it up front, was that he didn't feel like anyone really _wanted_him around.

If ever he was feeling worthless, he could never think of anything that would change it. There was no place that came to mind with the reassuring feeling of, "Ah, yes, they'll be happy to see me", or "Oh, I'm sure they miss me". The only people who had ever wanted him were his mother and father. His mother's gone, now, and his dad and him- they'll always have a special place in his heart. But its not the same as someone else. Its not the same as a sweet boy wanting to spend time with you, to get to know you. Not the same as a sweet boy finding your eyes pretty, or liking the way you sing, or the way you smell. As a sweet boy wanting you to sit next to them, to bump their hip against yours, or brush your hand while you're walking.

He always complained that there were no gay guys at McKinley, so there was no one to make his heart flutter the way he saw in his favorite movies and musicals. All the classic love stories, he loved the love and the songs about love, and yet he hadn't even had so much as someone to flirt innocently with. Kurt, though he didn't realize it at the time, had sought it out by going after Finn. It was the only thing he could do, really. It was all he had. He'd just wanted to know what it was _like_to love.

More than that, though, what he'd wanted most of all was for someone to want _him_. He wanted someone's heart to flutter when he looked at them. He wanted someone to chase him, someone to look at him with longing eyes. Someone to come up and talk to him between classes, and ask him to Breadstix, and tell him he looked good that day and follow him around like a puppy. Why wasn't he special in anyone's eyes? Was he that unimportant? Would anyone ever... ever want him?

And then, everything changed.

Then there was Blaine.

Blaine, who saw something in him the first day they met. Whether or not what he saw was a little bit of himself, and in the beginning, it might have been that Blaine wanted to help him fight because he never fought for himself, he still stood by Kurt even after the fact. After he gave him a pep talk, after he offered the idea of Dalton, after he _showed up to Kurt's school_ and stood up to a huge neanderthal for him, he stayed with Kurt. They hung out all the time outside of school, every day that they could, and especially on weekends. Even though they lived a little ways apart. Blaine wanted to spend time with him. He _wanted_ to. He didn't just take time out of schedule for Kurt, he _made_time.

He was so happy when Kurt told him he was transferring. Kurt had been worried that Blaine might feel smothered, or like he was invading in Blaine's life, but no. Blaine was ecstatic, and he attached to Kurt like there was no one else he'd rather be paired with for anything. It didn't feel like some kind of pity, or like it was his responsibility, either. They still hung out just as much, after school and on weekends when Blaine didn't have to, when he probably had better things to do. He still called Kurt and asked him to shows and out for coffee. He still texted Kurt and asked how his day was, told Kurt about his own. And Kurt invited him to almost everything he could; stuff with his family, stuff with his friends at McKinley, shopping dates with Mercedes- everything and anything. And maybe Blaine was a gentleman, but no one would have said yes every single time unless they genuinely wanted to be around another person. There were no other motives that Kurt could find and believe you, he searched and searched, trying to find a logical explanation as to why this beautiful boy wanted to spend his free time with him again and again. It all boiled down to the simple fact that Blaine must have _enjoyed_being around Kurt. He must have enjoyed their talks, the laughs they shared, the time they spent together. He wanted to be around Kurt, just as much as Kurt wanted to be around him.

Now, Blaine wants to hold his hand. He wants to kiss him. He wants to be his boyfriend, and for himself to be Kurt's and for them to be each others and not hide it from anyone. He wants to kiss and to touch in the way that means more than a friend, because he feels more than just friendship for Kurt. It seems they've always been more than friends, though. There was always something there. Thinking back, Kurt knows he didn't make it all up in his head. Blaine just hadn't realize it yet. Maybe Kurt had spent more time fantasizing about this than Blaine had, and so he understood right away. Maybe Kurt was more aware of how badly he needed someone like Blaine, and so he realized it immediately. Maybe Blaine is just adorably oblivious, who knows. Either way, Kurt knows now that it was always there. There was something special between them, right from the start. Strangers could see that. The blind could probably see it. They just... they just got along, and they enjoyed each other in ways they had never known was possible. And he was just so lucky enough that for Blaine, those special things between them are just as special, just as precious to him as they are to Kurt.

Because Blaine has struggled too. Blaine has been just as lonely as Kurt. He confided this in him- not by crying on the first day they met, no- but once Kurt had proven that he isn't going anywhere, and that he can be depended on, and that he genuinely cares about Blaine, little by little he began to open up. He knew Blaine had dealt with everything he had, but was just better at hiding it than Kurt (which Blaine passed off on being at an all boys school with zero tolerance, meaning there was a lot less pressure and a lot more optimism). Blaine needed someone like him, just as much as Kurt did. And so it made it easier to understand. Kurt knows that they're perfect for each other, just knows it, even without all the facts in front of him, he _feels_it. And yet... he still can't believe that its he who Blaine wants.

Sometimes, Kurt jokes, "What if that guy was gay? What if that guy wanted you?" as they sit in the park, or walk through the mall, nodding to buff guys, chiseled faces, "manly" men. He'll ask about who Blaine's dream guy is, and when Blaine laughs the question off, Kurt paints the picture himself. Someone who didn't have night cleansing routines, who actually likes football, who doesn't get emotionally worked up so easily (See: the death of Pavoratti). "What if the man of your dreams came to you and courted you like Prince Charming?"

Blaine always rolls his eyes, and tells Kurt that he loves every single thing about him. He says there is no "perfect dream guy" lurking in his fantasies, because he's right there in front of him. Because all that he's ever dreamed is for someone to make him feel the way Kurt makes him feel, and to love him and to want him as well. His "adorable" love of skin care, scarves and birds- well, those were just "extra blessings", he says, smirking when Kurt blushes and pretends to find that cheesy. Then he'll take Kurt's face in his hands, and he'll tell him that he's perfect, and that he's all that Blaine wants, every single part of him.

And Kurt's heart, it flies. Flies so hard, the feeling has made him dizzy more than once. He's amazed that he hasn't fainted by now because of the things Blaine does to him.

He never knew that those feelings could exist in real life.

He never thought that anyone could ever, would ever make him feel like... _magic_.

Back in his sophomore year, he had no idea what really being wanted felt like. Now, he knows what it's like to have someone's fingers curl under his palm and slip into his, squeezing when he accepts the gesture and laces them. He knows what it's like to have someone bury their face into his neck when he hugs them, and sneak a little kiss to his skin. He knows what it's like to want to kiss someone, and be able to act on it; to lean in and see a smile on the others lips, eager for his own, leaning right back. He knows what it feels like to hold someone, to run his hands over someone's back and have them sigh contently under his touch. To have someone touching him the way that lovers do; knuckles stroking his cheek, a thumb tracing his jaw, fingers running along his side and squeezing his hip with love. He knows what it's like to look into someone's eyes, and see nothing but _love_in them.

He knows how Blaine's fingers feel in between his own. He knows what Blaine's neck feels like against his cheek. He knows how his earlobe feels against his nose. He knows just how he smells, and the exact way that he smiles when Kurt is so bold as to press a kiss to his cheek. He knows what it feels like to run his fingers through Blaine's dark hair, and to be met only with a brilliant smile at the gesture, and a murmur of "I love you".

Kurt lifts his hand from Blaine's hip. He moves it carefully up, and slides his fingers gently into the other boy's hair, slowly combing through the soft curls. His stomach churns and his heart skips a beat, just from that alone, and he can't stop the smile that pulls his lips.

Because Blaine is his boyfriend, and he's sleeping there, curled up to him like a puppy. And he doesn't care if Kurt plays with his hair. In fact, he likes it, Kurt knows.

It's just a week into summer, and they'd spent the day together. It's a Saturday, and his Dad and Carole had been having a night out together. Finn was out as usual, he wasn't sure where exactly, but it was beside the point. He and Blaine had gotten to spend all day together, from brunch until dinner, just roaming around the small town.

Then they came back to Kurt's house, and they put a movie in and settled on the bed. Blaine had inched closer and closer, until he gave Kurt a coy little smile and curled happily up to his side. They haven't done anything but kiss, but they love to touch intimately this way. For a while, they would always be shy about it, even though they knew it was welcomed from both parties. It was just because it was all so new to both of them, to be close to someone in that way, but they both loved it. So now, Blaine will practically dive next to him whenever they're alone, and fit himself close to Kurt like there's no place in the world he'd rather be, like that's where he belongs. And Kurt doesn't hesitate anymore. He pulls Blaine close and he stays close, because there is nothing he loves more than being close to Blaine. He loves Blaine. They love each other. They love to be near each other, to be so intimate, to touch each other the way lovers do. They love to _love_each other.

Kurt doesn't know how he ever lived without this feeling.

Blaine stirs again. His breathing hitches, and after a moment, his head turns against Kurt's chest. It's a minute of him nuzzling, and evidently burrowing for warmth, before he begins to wake. He lifts his head, looking up through narrowed, blurry eyes at Kurt. A few blinks, another confused glance around, and then a smile curls on his lips. It's bashful, actually _bashful_, because sometimes Blaine is shy when Kurt would never expect him to be. Blaine opens his mouth, beginning to speak, but he's cut off with a yawn. He laughs half way through it, voice broken with sleep. Kurt can't help but giggle.

His hand leaves Kurt's shirt, rubbing at his eyes and blinking them clear. The smile widens, now that he seems to be coherent, and it's a little goofy, too, like he's amused at the situation he's found himself in.

"Hi," He says, his voice rough, a lazy grin bearing itself.

Kurt returns the smile without even trying. "Hi there."

"You fell asleep on me," Blaine mumbles, smiling up at Kurt. "And then I fell asleep on you."

Kurt snorts softly, grinning, "I know."

"How long did we sleep?"

"Hmm," Kurt checks the clock, "I'm going to guess... an hour and a half."

"How long you been awake?"

"Few minutes."

Blaine relaxes against Kurt, and his smile turns a little shy again. He's watching Kurt's face as he cuddles a little closer, and he moves his leg respectfully off of Kurt's, but stays snug to his side, his arm sliding around Kurt's middle. He's watching him like he's asking for permission, or rather, just making sure that Kurt isn't going to ask him to get off (as if he would ever do that). "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Kurt smiles. Bravely, his hand moves up again, and he slips his hand back into Blaine's hair. His fingers push through the locks, and he twists a curl around his index, heart fluttering when Blaine's eyes close with a quiet sigh.

"I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?" Blaine's smiling softly, contently. Kurt can feel his heart pounding against his chest, and he's certain Blaine can feel the breath he takes when the other boy looks up at him again. He shows Kurt such soft, loving eyes, and a smile that's dripping with so much affection, Kurt almost wants to cry. Blaine looks so comfortable there, laying with him, with Kurt's hand in his hair. Butterflies rush through his chest at the sight of it all, and he knows he's smiling stupid.

"A-About... how much I love you."

They've said it before. About a million times since that first one in the coffee shop, actually, but it hasn't yet failed to make Kurt's heart skip a beat. Every time. Judging by the look on Blaine's face, the way his eyes light up for a second before they soften, and his smile just grows and grows, Kurt thinks its safe to assume Blaine feels the same way.

Blaine- his boyfriend, Blaine- he scoots up enough that Kurt's fingers slip to the back of his head, still tangled comfortably in his hair. Without warning, his mouth slides easily against Kurt's, catching it in a gentle, warm, sweet lip-lock. Blaine smells so good, and his lips are so soft, and Kurt lifts his chin just enough to let Blaine know the kiss is more than welcomed.

"I love you, Kurt." Blaine smiles after he pulls back, just enough so that they can see each other. It's not bashful this time. It's confident, and his eyes are on Kurt like he's making a statement. Like he's passing on vital information, like he _needs_Kurt to hear him. They're the most honest eyes he's ever seen, and so filled with love.

It's all Kurt can do to keep from grinning, and for a moment he just stares up at Blaine- Blaine, his _boyfriend_, Blaine. His fingers slip to the back of his neck, pressing there as his chin lifts again, until Blaine gets the hint and brings his lips back. He kisses as best he can with his lips curled in a grin, and he can feel the other pair mirroring his own. They're smiling against each other, and Blaine brings his hand to cup Kurt's cheek as they kiss; sweet, slow, and perfect.

Kurt doesn't know how he ever lived without Blaine.


End file.
